Lastly, my raya have been great so far:) Im loving it. Tho my saham drop a lil bit this year.. I still love Raya. And I've decided on a decision which got me thinking till this late. I love my family more and I wont want to disappoint them anymore.

To Jukeszx, Nabilah doakan kak ju and abang hasri kekal hingga akhir hayat. Please please jangan lupe your niece here kalau da kahwin:( I felt a lil bit neglected yesterday:( We'll go out later at night k? Quality time together, I've got alot to tell you, I really dont know who I should open up to. I am really confuse right now. I'm like doing things that I dont like to do. I know I cant have the best of both worlds, I know I'm old enough to make the right decision but I really dont know what I should do, its not a should, Its a must. We need to talk.

I really thought you were my friend till today, I realise you're just the same. I really am going to stop building bridges, I shall build this wall this wall around me, this wall this high so that no one will even notice I'm there, this wall to show me who'll climb over it to be with me behind this wall. Cause I've learnt that when you love and care for someone and they found someone whom they'll care and love more, they tend to forget bout those people who loved and cared them before that someone enter and they will only realise when I stop loving and caring for them. For this 17 years, I swear only one person. ONLY ONE, my grandma has always been there for me. Physically and mentally. And I'm here, NEVER EVER CARE BOUT HER. I only find her when I'm in doubts, when I'm in need of something urgently. However she is always ALWAYS there for me when I quarell with my dad, when I got a problem with my mum, when I lost hope in love, when I dont know whats wrong and right. She's real. She annoy me at times but its for my own good and now this moment then I realise that She is the only real human being that have been with me all along. She is the one standing beside me. When I achieve, She's the one congratulating and rewarding me. When I fail, She's the one that pray for me to do well again, She's the one that tell me to try again. When I do something wrong, She's the one who advice me and correct me. Nenek, I know you wont be reading this but I just feel like telling the whole world how lucky I am to have you. I also want you to know that I am sorry for disappointing you again and again and I am sorry for hurting you every single time and I know sorry is just words. But yeah, I am really sorry from the bottom of my heart. Today, I promise you I'll be someone you'll be proud of. I will call you everyday to ask how are you. I will visit you at least once a week to spend some time with you. And if I wont have the time, I'll make the time. For today, I've learnt my lesson.